Coffeehouse observation No. 51-61: Observations about coffee dates

A coffeehouse is a great place for a first date. It is more casual than, say, a dinner date or movie date or dinner and movie date. It is more casual than a luncheon date, even. It is a chance to be more at ease during what could be the first and only real chance to impress a woman or man.

And there are chances to bail out of the date with grace because it is such a casual date.

But there are some things that coffeehouse daters need to keep in mind. Below are a couple of observations made over the years that could help in getting to a second date.

1) Don’t be late. If you were impressed by the person enough to ask them out on a date – even a coffeehouse first date – respect them enough to be on time. Being fashionably late is not cool for a coffeehouse first date. It’s not cool for any date.

2) Dress nicely. First impressions are important. Being nicely and neatly dressed might be better than being fashionably dressed. But it is a coffeehouse date, so don’t dress up too much. Take fashion into account, but don’t go Lady Gaga.

3) Don’t spill on yourself. First impressions are important. Heard that before. Well, spilling a coffee beverage – and that’s what you’re most likely going to have in a coffeehouse on a coffeehouse first date – is not cool. It will make you look clumsy, leave a visible spot for your coffeehouse date to stare at throughout the date, and stain your clothes long after he or she has walked out on the coffeehouse date.

4) Don’t spill on your date. Do I really have to go into why this is a bad thing? Really?

5) Don’t spill on anyone else at the coffeehouse. First impressions are important. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it before. But spilling on someone at a neighboring table will make you clumsy – yeah, you’ve heard that before, too – and make you appear inconsiderate. After all, would a considerate person spill something on someone, anyone? No. And people on first dates are looking for people who are not clumsy and are considerate.

6) Don’t flirt with someone else at the coffeehouse. This also means not asking another coffeehouse patron – someone other than your coffeehouse date – for their phone number or starting a conversation with a person at another table. Just don’t do it.

7) For God’s sake, break up that muffin into bite-size bits before shoving it into your mouth. It is not impressive to spit muffin bits at your coffeehouse first date. Or to regale him or her with conversation with your mouth full of bran muffin. Chew your food! Swallow! Then talk!

8) Put the cellphone on vibrate or, better yet, silent mode. Saying you “have to take this call” and then answering it with “Hey, Baby, I can’t wait to see you tonght!” is not cool on a coffeehouse first date. Actually, it’s not cool on any date. Unless it is an emergency, every call, every voicemail message can be returned after the coffeehouse first date.

9) Don’t be judgmental, loud or obnoxious. Truly judgmental people are unacceptable. Loud people are rude people and do not merit the time of day. That’s not being judgmental. Obnoxious people are, well, just obnoxious.

10) Be polite and honest. Being polite doesn’t cost anything and it is much, much more impressive than being rude. And being honest should be a much more valued trait than physical appearance, income or the type of vehicle or home a person owns. If the coffeehouse first date is not going to lead to a second date, do not say “I’ll give you a call.” But be kind. There is no need to be impolite, dishonest and unkind, even if you plan never to see the coffeehouse first date ever again.

There, I hope that clears up for people planning a coffeehouse first date. I’m sure there are other tips, but you are just going to figure out those on your own. Good luck!

Go to Coffeehouse Observer for more coffeehouse observations.